Say the thing: The power of a well timed word

I was at a coffee shop working the other day. I told the barista that I only need a little bit of room for cream as she poured my coffee into a mug. She took my request seriously. There was half a millimeter left to the top of the mug and I still had to get some half and half in there. I shuffled along to the counter to get my splash of cream, creating for myself quite the challenge. My mug was borderline overflowing, so moving it without spilling was a feat in and of itself, let alone the long trek to the table I had placed my laptop at.

I was determined not to spill a drop on the way. My competitive spirit came out. It was me versus the coffee and I was determined to win. I was all in, partly because I didn’t want to waste any of that good coffee, but mostly because it had become a personal challenge.

I crept slowly toward my table, which was clear across the coffeehouse. My eyes were laser-focused on the brim of the mug. Negotiating with gravity on every step. My inner spirit was full of life and I repeated, you can do this!

When I finally made it to the table and set the mug down without spilling, I felt victorious like I’d just completed some secret Olympic event. I wanted to cheer for myself out loud, but I just smiled and sat down. Phew!

I secretly hoped that someone would have seen this triumph, but I assumed that no one had noticed. Why would they?

Then the manager came out from a back room. He had apparently watched my whole journey.

He smiled and said something like, Wow, congratulations! I was cheering for you back there! You did it!

I. felt. seen.

Like really seen. I thanked him for noticing my efforts as he dipped into the back room again.

Had I gone that whole journey alone, I probably would have forgot it ever happened. But because he noticed me, I decided to write an entire Substack post about it. Forever documented!

This person didn’t have to say anything. He could have just enjoyed the moment silently and moved on with his day. But he came out from the back room to say something kind. It was small, but meaningful.

He noticed my effort.

He named it.

He made my day.

I doubt a gold medal in coffee transportation would have stuck with me, but because this guy said the thing, it shifted my day from going unnoticed to being recognized. And it felt good.

I realize how often we don’t say the thing. We notice people doing something brave, tender, careful, intentional, or funny and we stay silent.

Why do we do that?

We think it’s too small to mention. Or we’re too distracted. Or we assume they don’t need our encouragement. Or we are afraid it might sound stupid.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Phil 4:8)

And more than just think about them, say them out loud. Let others be your witness just as you are a witness to others.

So here’s my takeaway:

If you notice something good, name the thing.

If someone’s quietly persevering, tell them you see it.

If someone makes you smile, let them know.

You never know how a well-timed word might land.

Sometimes, it’s the small observations that have the deepest impact.

And to the man who cheered me on in the coffeeshop, thank you, sir.