Living Authentically: Importance of a True Life

Living authentically takes quite the skill these days. I’m constantly confronted with curated images, filtered stories, and subtle (or not-so-subtle) expectations. It’s no wonder the struggle to know ourselves is such a battle. 

How many times have you walked down the street and seen a group of teenage girls (we live in a collage town) who are dressed the EXACT same? I mean the jeans, the shirts, the shoes, the hair, all of it?!

It takes conviction to forge our own path. To walk sway from societal norms in pursuit of what feels true for us.

Daily, we’re handed scripts like how to look, succeed, act, age, speak, and belong. If we follow this advice, it often becomes our first step into someone else’s story. We start playing roles we never chose. It’s hard not to fall into this trap when it’s all we see and hear.

I am curious what would happen if we made a conscious decision to come back to our true selves, the version that God intended?

Why Living Authentically Feels So Hard

To be honest, sometimes it’s easier to play the part than do the painful work of knowing ourselves and then acting on it. Going with the grain of culture is the path of least resistance. I don’t have to explain my choices because they make sense to other people. 

Living under the expectations of others teaches us to suppress our authentic self in order to keep the peace. So, in an effort to belong, we start living as a different version of who we were made to be, even around a close friend or family member. 

Culture sets the tone and if we aren’t careful to question societal norms, they can sweep us away.

The West often rewards performance. It tells the world that we are good and that we belong. But God already says that we belong to Him. We don’t have to wear the same outfit, work the same job, make the same amount of money, live in the same size house as the rest of the world. We are made with a purpose and we belong to Him. 

This is foundation of living authentically. It is less about blending in and more about leaning into our genuine selves in order to become our truest self.

When Mimicking Replaces Identity

This one is tricky, because mimicking others can make us feel like copying someone else’s success will turn us toward something good. It looks good on them, so why wouldn’t it look good on me? But the reason it shines is because it’s part of their design. They wear it well because it fits them. It was made for them. 

When we are mimicking, we don’t often notice when we’ve drifted from our authentic selves to take on someone else’s identity.

This could look like admiring someone on social media. They make it look so easy, don’t they? They offer you the three easy steps to be a…fill in the blank.  And you take the bait. Many times they seem like authentic people who have it all figured out. They’ve got a vibe and you want it too. 

Your inner voice veers away from what feels good in your own skin and attempts to become someone else’s version of beauty, success, etc. This is often because we flounder under the noise of the world and have a hard time quieting the other voices in order to hear out own.

I know this, because I’ve done it.

A Turning Point

My own turning point came when I made the conscious effort to stop coloring my hair. It may sound small, but I was playing by social rules and didn’t even realize I was choosing societal expectations over my personal values.

I felt God nudging me to let my hair grow out. I wanted to save money and create more ease by not worrying about the gray hairline that showed up every six weeks. I recognized that dyeing my hair no longer aligned with my core values:

• Authentic living meant embracing my aging process, not covering it up.
• Living simply meant spending less free time and money at salons.
• A more authentic life meant listening to my inner self, not the beauty industry.

I wasn’t just ditching hair dye. I was releasing an identity I had unknowingly borrowed from culture. And in doing so, I opened space to let myself, or at least my hair, grow into it’s full potential.

More on this reflection here. 

Letting Go of Old Habits and False Scripts

Since making that decision, I’ve let go of other old habits like styling routines, toxic products, and the constant striving to look…like someone else. Each release brought a little more of my true nature back to me and it feels so good!

The good news is that living in alignment doesn’t require dramatic transformation. It often begins with smaller steps like saying no to something that doesn’t fit, or reclaiming your free time from a habit that doesn’t serve your best life.

Sometimes it means facing uncomfortable emotions. Letting go of the person you thought you had to be can stir up negative emotions like grief, shame, and sadness. But those feelings are often a signal from your subconscious mind urging you back toward your own truth.

What Authentic Means (and What It Doesn’t)

Authentic means honest, not perfect.
It means choosing your own path, not someone else’s.
It doesn’t mean you’ll always feel confident, it means you’ll, mostly, feel like you.

One of the best ways to know if you are leaning into your authentic self is by how much ease it brings. When you’re living in your own skin, there’s less pressure to strive and more room to simply be.

More on being and becoming.

Practical Steps to a More Authentic Life

Here are a few things that helped me reconnect to my sense of authenticity.

• I spent more time listening to my inner voice (read: Holy Spirit) and less time chasing validation. It wasn’t easy. I had to be in the present moment and listen for where I felt the most peace. When it came to coloring my hair, it was a clear nudge.
• I started noticing when I was trying to meet people’s needs at the cost of my own. I had to ask myself if I was trying to doing this from a place of overflow or from a place of gaining approval. 
• I replaced self-destructive habits with what reflected my personal growth goals. A big one for me was the need to hurry and get as much done as possible. The productivity trap had me held hostage for a long time. I couldn’t put down my work. As I leaned into rest, I was able to find more of myself. 
• I allowed new ideas and different perspectives to help me break free from old boxes. This is where community comes in. I’m not preaching a you do you or YOLO mentality. We need good friends who can help us discern what they see in us. Ask them to reflect back some things about you that are unique. It helps to ask trusted people who have your best interest in mind. 
• Start with a list of everyday non-negotiables. What are some things that you absolutely know or believe, regardless of what others say?

Authenticity is daily work. It’s not about arriving at some final version of yourself, but living with an open mind and a soft heart to become more of who you already are.

Reflection Questions for Your Real Self

1. What survival mechanisms are you still carrying from a former season of life?
2. What’s one area where you feel disconnected from your true self?
3. Where have you been trying to live someone else’s life?
4. What’s the first thing you can do this week to step into your own truth?
5. How might you show up differently in intimate relationships if you were living as your fullest self?

Becoming a Better Person by Becoming a Truer One

If you want to live into your authentic self, the way God made you, you have to let go of cultural narratives.

You don’t need to become a better person by adding more.
The invitation is to become a truer person by letting go.

When you step away from the noise of societal expectations and tune into your genuine self, you create space to live the best version of you.

I hope this article inspires you to consider your own truth, discover your authentic self, and be proud of the unique individual that you are.

The wonderful thing about this journey is that you already have everything you need. You just have to uncover it.