Growth Over Perfection: Choosing A Progress Mindset

Exploring a growth over perfection mindset.

I had a moment this week.

You know that time of year when the soil finally warms up, the sun is out but not too hot, and all the plants are waiting to go in the ground? Yeah, that sweet spot. That’s where I was, out there starting a no-till garden bed. Laying cardboard, edging the borders. You know… just casually rearranging the Earth.

As I’m hitting my rhythm, our little neighbor crew spots us outside.

These kids (roughly ages 4 to 10) think G and I are the bees knees. And whenever we’re outside, they come RUNNING. Like a full sprint, yelling our names, ready to report, see what we are up to, and tell us everything they know (like “Did you know I have two cousins and one friend?”).

Usually, I welcome it. Their curiosity, their stories, their little questions, they’re pretty great.

But that day? Without knowing it, my perfectionist mindset was in full swing.

We were right in the middle of the bed project when they swarmed. Then their cousins joined. Suddenly we had six kids, all chatting, climbing, shifting my perfectly placed cardboard, and very much not reading a single social cue.

We let them help, as we usually do. But then came the sibling fights. One of them picks up the hose and we know what’s coming next. I was giving myself quiet little pep talks: Be cool. Be patient. It’s okay. But honestly? I just wanted to finish my garden bed in peace.

Caught Between Growth and Perfection

I was caught between two options:

1. lean into a progress mindset and see this as a moment of personal growth (choose the relationship over the project and let them help)
2. cling to my need for flawless execution (get the heck out of my way, I’ve got things to do)

What I wanted most was to finish my garden bed and no amount of willpower was going to save me.

The next thing I know, I am telling my 6-year-old buddy, with full blown annoyance, “No, I cannot show your cousin our secret handshake.” I could see the disappointment on her face.

I wanted SO badly to be chill. To enjoy the chaos, laugh, let it go. But my high standards overtook any nudge from God to soften.

Second Chances

I felt defeated, not because it was a bad moment, but because I tried to have a growth mindset but my pursuit of perfection overpowered me.

I told the kids to go away while we worked, and they reluctantly did and we were able to finish the bed.

Thankfully, later that day, I got to re-enter in a much calmer state. I reconnected with my 6-year-old friend. We showed her cousin our secret handshake. They showed me a dance they made up and had been practicing. I got to answer their questions about no-till gardening and why I was building the bed that way.

As I look at the bigger picture, what I cherish most are the times where I can be loving to others, give them my time, and teach them something I’m passionate about. That’s the gold.

I am thankful for do-overs.

Real Growth Isn’t Found In Perfection

Sometimes real growth looks less like perfect outcomes and more like returning after a misstep.

Growth doesn’t happen in the perfect moment. It’s not about always getting it right the first time.

Going Back In

I decided to take one small step toward connection and thankfully, the kids were still around.

In order to re-enter, I had to release the fear of failure or fear of judgment that can sneak in after a messy moment. Kids are resilient and quick to forgive, so I was thankful for that.

What Could Have Changed?

I also considered what could be different next time.

I noticed I had some unrealistic expectations of the situation. I know that if I go outside and work on the garden, the kids will come over. It’s not a surprise, it’s a pattern. I could have left a little room for the interruption. 

I realized that impossible standards don’t just affect me, they shape how I respond to others. Was the garden bed an impossible task? No. But expecting to finish it without interruptions was.

Real Progress

The biggest mindset shift is to stop measuring success by whether I executed perfectly and start measuring it by whether I stayed soft enough to re-enter. 

Real progress isn’t a clean upward climb, it’s about small steps, gentle course corrections, and the courage to try again.

Growth is an ongoing process. We never fully arrive. Continuous improvement happens through incremental progress and lots of do-overs.

It happens in a tiny decision, a small action, a first step.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve felt tested lately…
If your peace got trampled by a tiny neighborhood stampede…
If you’ve had to give yourself a pep talk to make it through, You’re not alone.

And you don’t need the perfect version of yourself to show up.

You just need to take the next step. One tiny, imperfect, grace-filled moment at a time.

Because the enemy of progress isn’t failure, it’s believing you need to be perfect.

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